Fact or Fiction? Matt Diagnosed with Rare “Fiji-Tooth”

That's the Worse Case of "Fiji Tooth" We have Ever Seen!The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based.  Please add a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary.  The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

It didn’t take long to become impressed by the natural beauty of Fiji.  Expansive beaches, crystal clear water, and the wonderful, welcoming people.  But the clear skies soon darkened when Matt awoke one morning with a strange sensation in the right side of his mouth.  A quick look in the bathroom mirror revealed an unexpected sight.

We had read about isolated cases of what the locals refer to as “Fiji-Tooth” while reading about the islands.  The affliction imparts immediate and excessive growth of incisor or canine teeth; Matt’s dental victim was his right, top canine.  The symptoms include formation of an enamel-based root system atop the crown of an existing tooth, much like the portion that can be seen in x-rays at a dentist’s office, but on the surface rather than below the gum line.  Additionally, a rapid deterioration of cognitive abilities has been associated with Fiji-Tooth; Matt has demonstrated a solid dumbing-down since encountering this recent decline in health.

All was not lost though – Frustrated by Matt’s vacant look and vapid conversation, Jenn became hostile and punched him right in his funky Fiji-Tooth, which went flying from his mouth.  The impact of Jenn’s fisticuff also knocked both his hat and his senses straight.  Matt experienced minor pain from this informal introduction to Jenn’s knuckles which was easy to treat with a bottle of locally-made (116 poof) Bounty rum.

To ensure that Matt was fully cured, he and Jenn visited the local Coral Coast dental office.  The dentist, amazed at the rapid recovery, was quick to exclaim his shock as he stated with a heavy island accent, “This is the first instance I’ve encountered in which someone has literally had the stupid slapped out of them!”

We paid our medical tab and left satisfied returning to the beautiful beach for some well earned rest and relaxation.

Bringing Back Cocktail Hour - Coral Coast, Fiji

Line 'em Up!

We caught the attention of several vacationing Australians, the hotel's owner, and Mateo, the friendly bartender at the Talanoa Bar, when we politely asked that he "please line up shots of Fiji's local liquors along with their bottles".  The place was quiet as Mateo raised an inquisitive eyebrow and poured the colorful libations into tiny stemware.  Is this not traditionally requested in Fiji?  Who cares?!  We were on island-time and knew that our Bring Back Cocktail Hour sponsor was ready to see what we would do with her contribution to "Include an Appetizer".

Thanks to the generosity of our sponsor Yvonne, we not only sampled the local gin, vodka, rum (white and dark) and the whiskey, but also enjoyed a traditional dish of Coconut Pancake Rolls before dinner.  This appetizer consists of fresh local fish sauteed with garlic, onion and lime juice, topped with a delicate mornay sauce, then wrapped in a thin coconut pancake.  One word - Delish!

Our gratitude goes out to Yvonne for helping us Bring Back Cocktail Hour while also providing an appetizer capable of absorbing our selection of island favorites.  The entire experience will never be forgotten.