Fact or Fiction? Matt Diagnosed with Rare “Fiji-Tooth”

That's the Worse Case of "Fiji Tooth" We have Ever Seen!The following submission is either completely fictional or is fact-based.  Please add a comment noting whether you think it is True or False with your own entertaining or supporting commentary.  The answer will be revealed in a future comment on this post.

It didn’t take long to become impressed by the natural beauty of Fiji.  Expansive beaches, crystal clear water, and the wonderful, welcoming people.  But the clear skies soon darkened when Matt awoke one morning with a strange sensation in the right side of his mouth.  A quick look in the bathroom mirror revealed an unexpected sight.

We had read about isolated cases of what the locals refer to as “Fiji-Tooth” while reading about the islands.  The affliction imparts immediate and excessive growth of incisor or canine teeth; Matt’s dental victim was his right, top canine.  The symptoms include formation of an enamel-based root system atop the crown of an existing tooth, much like the portion that can be seen in x-rays at a dentist’s office, but on the surface rather than below the gum line.  Additionally, a rapid deterioration of cognitive abilities has been associated with Fiji-Tooth; Matt has demonstrated a solid dumbing-down since encountering this recent decline in health.

All was not lost though – Frustrated by Matt’s vacant look and vapid conversation, Jenn became hostile and punched him right in his funky Fiji-Tooth, which went flying from his mouth.  The impact of Jenn’s fisticuff also knocked both his hat and his senses straight.  Matt experienced minor pain from this informal introduction to Jenn’s knuckles which was easy to treat with a bottle of locally-made (116 poof) Bounty rum.

To ensure that Matt was fully cured, he and Jenn visited the local Coral Coast dental office.  The dentist, amazed at the rapid recovery, was quick to exclaim his shock as he stated with a heavy island accent, “This is the first instance I’ve encountered in which someone has literally had the stupid slapped out of them!”

We paid our medical tab and left satisfied returning to the beautiful beach for some well earned rest and relaxation.

Left Isn't Right and Other Lessons Learned

Jenn using her Dirty Hand to Eat. Bad Jenn...Bad.We expected to learn a few lessons as our travels progressed.  Below is a sample of those that have recently come to our attention:

1. Left Isn't Right - In Asia left hands are often used for what might be referred to as "dirty work" and should never be used when eating.  Jenn is left-handed and tries to limit the use of her dirty digits when dining publically.
2. Electricity 101 - Plugging a 110 volt surge protector into a 220 volt power outlet will not offer the desired protection for your electronics, and may trip the fuses in your hotel room...and result in a puff of smoke...and a burn mark on the socket.  Enough said.
3. Liquids May Be Too Hot to Handle - Remember the McDonald's coffee in the lap incident in the US?  It has nothing on KL's hot tea on the hand incident of 2014.  It caused a real "sensation".
4. Crazy People Exist Everywhere - Sadly, we've encountered them in Hawaii and now Singapore.  :(
   The good news is, for every looney there are 10 amazingly nice people we encounter during our travels...Maybe even 11.
5. Spontaneity, Pshhh...Forget That - As much as we try to "go with the flow", airlines and the countries we visit have a different plan.  We have to purchase return or onward airline tickets more often than not in order to be allowed into several countries.  The welcome is something like, "We are glad you're here.  When are you leaving?"

We expect to learn more lessons as our travels continue.  What travel tips have you learned in your adventures that you'd be willing to share with us?

Quick Trip Quip - How to Avoid Speeding Tickets

Quick Trip Quips are those funny witticisms picked up by peripheral hearing during our travels. This entry falls into the "educational" category.

Venue: Caroline's Cafe in Key West Florida - A quality people watching spot if ever there was one.

Players: Two people are sitting at the outdoor bar. To protect the identities of those involved in this Quick Trip Quip, we shall refer to them as:

• Almost Naked Girl - Wearing a bright red lace camisole and thong bottom...Oh, and a very retro-styled tricorne hat; she was extremely inebriated.

• Funny Hat Guy - Rotating a wide selection of decorative head-wear including an overly fuzzy pimp-style hat and one in the shape of a roosting chicken. Funny Hat Guy was the most likely source of Almost Naked Girl's handsome tricorne.

Quip: Almost Naked Girl to Funny Hat Guy, "I dress like this all the time...I never get speeding tickets!"

Post Script: Sorry gents! We didn't manage to capture a picture of this scene.